Undecided

To balik or not to balik. That is the question.

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In an office where attire is not an issue, I think they should ban those collar t-shirt yg ternaik tu. It's bloody irritating!

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I need a new pair of shoes for hiking (not exactly hiking, tp climbing up a mountain ikut anak tangga yg disediakan), and a camera.

Sepanjang hidup, camera adalah satu2nya objek yg belum pernah aku miliki. Rasa macam nak beli, tapi biasa la... duit...

Oh April... biler kamu nak sampai? :D

Dan Sebenarnya - Yuna

Nasib Baik

Lagu ini kerap berkumandang in my head sejak beberapa hari yg lalu. Mungkin kerana Jason Mraz nak datang Malaysia. Not really a fan, but lagu2 dia begitu nyaman didengar telinga.

Mood Indonesia!

Surabaya...Surabaya....

Ape ada kat sana? Best tak? Ade cukup bekalan ayam penyet utk aku kah? Kain batik cantik dan murah ke? Upah driver plus sewa hotel murah tak gaknye? Ramai cowok nggak? ;)

Tapi persoalannya di sini, MAMPU kah aku pegi?

=((

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

Kenapa susah untuk menipu orang lain, tapi senang menipu diri sendiri? Orang selalu kata, be true to yourself.

I find that it's the hardest thing to do.

Nak admit the truth to myself may take some serious writing in my journal with a cup of cold water in hand, in the silence of the night with my night lamp on. And it doesn't take a minute or so. Might take weeks or even months, if it's really serious.

Till Death Do Us Part

Malam semalam keluar bawak Mummy makan. Sampai dekat traffic light Ampang Point, trafik tak teruk. Tiba2 lampu hijau, kenderaan gerak slow. Bila sampai depan, rupanya ada mayat kat tengah jalan. Berdarah2. Kena langgar dengan mat motor kot. Tak sangka aku, baru sangat berlaku. Nasib baik tak depan mata aku.

Mat motor tu tengah mengerang kesakitan kat tepi jalan. Nampak ok. Mula2 ingat yg terbaring tengah jalan tu hidup, tapi takde orang nak angkat dia. Dan time tu hujan dah mula renyai2. Takkan la diaorg tak berhati perut kan? Bila lama2 tengok, body tu dah tak bergerak langsung. (Sbb trafik light da balik merah, berenti dekat dgn mayat)

Seram la tengok mayat fresh depan mata. Tapi lagi seram biler terbayang cemana time aku mati nanti. Na'uzubillah kalau accident dan mati on the spot. Tak sempat nak mengucap. Apetah lagi nak menginsafi kejahatan aku selama nih.

=(

Exam PTD sangat susah. Hidup saya kembali tidak bermakna.

blank_

At 27, I'm still clueless.

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Shoutout awal for Hafezh, who'll turn.. ermm.. 30(?) tomorrow.

Happy Birthday, brader!

Semoga panjang umur, murah rezeki dan kurangkan perasan.
=P

Reminiscence

Aku rindu kat Tanjung Muar...

Zaman kedai ABC masih buat dari kayu, kat kawasan kecik tepi playground tu... memang syok! Tapi tu zaman batu gaknye utk bebudak skang, zaman jongkang-jongket tu masih bleh mengangkat aku tanpa terbelah dua. Gelongsor papan yg tinggi dan tak stable tuh la yg menjadi pujaan. Time ni kat tepi tanjung tu pun masih boleh berenang lagik. Aku ingat pegi main air ngan my second cousins from Singapore. Arwah Yaii Usop bawak.

Biler da masuk high school... pagi2 kalau berani, akan cycle ke tanjung yg agak jauh tu.. Kena udara pagi..syoknye! Kadang2 uncle bawak pegi jogging dgn anak2 dia. Kene mengurat mmg takleh lupa. Petang2 pegi tengok sunset. Indahnya alam ini.

Kenapa la semua kena berubah?

Oh tanjung, I miss you....

Errrr... Ape tuh?

Tengok Buletin Utama skang ni mmg aku tak paham. Dengan isu MB Perak la, menteri2 yg kena tegur dalam Dewan Rakyat la... (betul ke nih?) ade pulak "gambar tidur pelbagai posisi" sebagaimana yg disebut oleh Kamarudin Mape.

WT......F?!

Aku tak paham! TAK PAHAM!!!!!

Macam mana nak join kerja Kerajaan kalo hapah aku tatau? Baru baca blog Hafezh ngan Pizli yg sentuh sikit politik otak aku terus jem. Sama jek macam Math. Sebut jek percentage, terus aku hilang minat utk berfikir.

Takpe beb, u can do it! Baca sejarah Malaysia.

Wormtail : Tula dulu kat skolah cikgu ngajor, ko tido kat blakang!
Scabbers : * Sigh *

So Young

I'm only 26!

Muda. Ye, aku muda lagik. Walaupun 2 bulan lagi I'll be 27, but I'm still young.

Hooray!

Aku muda lagik. Yeay yeay yeay muda lagik. Lalalalaaaaa~

* Menari pusing2 *

Cobaan

Tiket MAS bleh tahan murah dan bleh travel dalam masa terdekat. Tiket Air Asia murah, tapi travel ujung tahun.

Cuti CNY dah jalan. Last week pun bejalan gak, walaupun destinasi dekat2. Bulan 5/6 nak ke Kuantan cadangnya. Bulan 7 roadtax & insurance keta. Bulan 11 Cousin Lin nak kawen.

Please, jangan buat nafsu nak book air ticket aku membuak2.

Tolong jangan bejalan, jhn. Bukan masalah takde masa, tapi masalah takde duit. I'm no Omar. Or Hafezh. (Ade nak bagi sumbangan ikhlas ke?)

You can do it. Control... control....

PMS much?

Hi.

I'd like to introduce you to... me.

I am a girl. Yes, a girl has her day off a week every month. And before that time comes, we have these syndromes that shows that it's coming.

In my case, I eat. Not only that, I can get very, VERY emotional... and best of all, a huge zit. Of all three, the zit is the least of my concern.

My signs struts its stuff every month without miss, but not the actual menstrual thing. No. It's been like this since the first time it started. I think I've missed 2 for the last months. I don't mind that, but what I mind is my eating disorder.

Since the 2, I've gained close to 10kgs. I'm aware of the swelling, but I can't help but eat. I find comfort in eating, but I despise it afterwards.

I think it's because of this, and the fact that I am at a stage of super emo... that I dream of my baby. Hahaha. Ye, I have a baby in dreamland. When I was younger, I kept dreaming of ghosts. Being chased by ghosts and even becoming one. For the past year or so, that kind of dreams disappear, and dreams of being pregnant takes place.

But 2 nights ago, that dream of being pregnant rasa macam real pulak. I can feel the love for the baby, but it ended suddenly sbb I woke up shivering, sejuk tak pakai selimut. A whole hour after that I couldn't sleep coz I kept thinking of the baby. I laughed because it's stupid, I cried coz I missed it. So I was out of mood since then. I kept hoping she'll be back in my dreams last night but no, I slept like a log.

Today, totally zero mood. Not in the mood to work, talk or eat, surprisingly. Sebab perut makin besar lah ni sampai mimpi ada baby kat dalam! Cis!

Tapi I wanted to do something else today. I wanted to go to UM and apply for a Graduate Programme in Education. I wanted to realize my childhood dreams of studyinig in USM and becoming a teacher. Yup, aku seorang yg kuno. Bukan orang moden. I even wanted to confess my feelings kat a certain someone. I wanted to change my life, coz I'm tired of it.

And I decided to call it, The Baby Effect.

Yet I'm still here, in the office, sitting quietly and hoping I can just disappear from the face of the earth. Maybe I can go find my baby in dreamland.

Anyway, it's stupid. It's nothing. It's "whatever-major-loser" from the beginning.

But that's just me.

New Resolution

Aku rasa macam nak tambah cita-cita this year, iaitu:

Failing is not an option.

Tapi aku takut. Aku bukan orang pandai mahupun rajin. Oleh itu, aku tambah nak alter sket ayat tuh...

Failing is not an option, but it's ok if u want to give up.

:P

Reunion

Selepas 12 tahun tidak berjumpa, akhirnya aku di re-unite kan dengan my buddy since Darjah 1, Rahimah Supian.

Thank you, Facebook!

Sudah sekian lama aku carik dia. Sungguh happy aku dibuatnye. Ahaks... And now I can't wait for October to come. I'm gonna meet my Convent buddies for our 10-year reunion. If boleh buat kat skolah would be cool!

10 years beb! SPM '99. Sape sangka.

Mr. Lonely

All things must come to an end. Begitu jugak dengan my one week holiday =(

It started with Muza's little sister's wedding in Nilai. Kalau tak pasal my 2 dear friends yg nak pegi, I may have skipped it. I'm not too keen on going to weddings, ok. Akan tetapi, terima kasih kepada Aisar yg membawa adiknya yg cute itu, the wedding wasn't so bad afterall ;)

When Bik Muna came home, kami berjalan-jalan sekitar Johor. Dulu masa Arwah Manji masih ada, dia slalu bawak me, Mummy & Makton jalan2. Now it's my turn to bawak his wife plak ronda2. From Muar ke Batu Pahat ke Pontian to stop by Tanjung Piai. The southern most tip of Asia. Tapi kiteorg pegi kampung nelayan tu, tak masuk the national park sbb ada jambatan still in progress.

I fell in love kat sana. Yup, dengan udang goreng tepung yg SANGAT lazat. Udang nye beso, isi nye putih gebu dan tepung yg menyaluti buah hati aku tu amatlah lazat. The best I've ever had! Then off to JB, tumpang satu malam kat rumah ManPik. Di bawak pulak makan sate lembut yg best dan otak-otak kempas. Aduh. Perut rasa macam menjerit kegembiraan!


The next morning kami ke Mersing. Breakfast pulak kat gerai yg di rekemen oleh Kazen Yati, Gelombang Biru. Ramainye manusia kat situ! No wonder lah di rekemen. Soto dia mmg top class! Lepastu singgah Air Papan nak main air cadangnye. Tapi since aku sorang2 je yg muda, tak dapat lah berendam. Syok betul angin dan ombak nye!


Dengan seluar yg basah sampai lutut, selamba la stop by kedai2 yg jual keropok lekor and what-nots. Dah sampai takkan tak shopping, kan? Habis duit, balik ikut Kluang. Ntah redah hutan mana ntah. Pastu stop plak kat tempat yg paling best kononnye masa kecik2 dulu - Ayer Itam. Makcik2 bershopping lagi. Sebelum balik ke Muar, singgah bandar Batu Pahat utk makan nasi beriyani. Lagi skali makan best! Hehehe..

Penat bukan main, tapi it was worth it!

Selang sehari lepastu, aku bawak Mummy, Makton and the two kids to Melaka pulak. Pegi Butterfly Park (tapi bukan just butterfly, macam2 binatang ada kat sana!) and bermandi-manda kat Pantai Kundur. First time rupanya diaorg pergi park tu. Slalu pegi zoo jek. Punye la excited nampak binatang dengan dekat. Ada HUGE iguana and snakes. Buaya banyak giler, and ada leopard.


Sepanjang jalan dari Ayer Keroh ke Pantai Kundur, diaorg tak habis2 citer pasal burung hantu. First time gak lah tu nampak dari dekat. Kat tepi beach, ramai betul manusia! Rupanya air bleh tahan pasang gak. So ape lagik, dengan jeans aku masuk air sampai pinggang. Bawak la budak 2 org tu yg tak penah main air laut lebih dari paras buku lali. Memang rugi pada aku. Kecik2 dulu kami tak main kat pool, so beach aje lah tempat yg paling best main air. Suke betul diaorg berenang2 dalam air. Aku pun tumpang seronok ler. At least ada alasan nak main air.


Malam tu, semua orang tido berdengkur. Ahaks.

Dan sekarang, aku kena hadapi kenyataan yg cuti aku dah habis. Ye, duit pun dah almost habis. Perut dah takleh terima makanan lagi rasanya. Seronok betul cuti!

=)