Monday, August 29, 2005 0 Comments A+ a-

Apekah yg patut aku tulis? Ntah. Aku tak tau. Aku tak geti. Aku tak paham. Aku confuse. Tunggu hari Jumaat baru aku update apekah yg berlaku pada hari Khamis nanti. Itupun kalau confirm jadi. Harap2 jadi la. Selagi tak jadi, selagi tu aku tak puas hati!

~ Anom... jom la ikut aku.. nnt aku bgtau dia ok.. ko pun kenal dia kan.. jangan biarkan aku keseorangan Nom.. jadilah saksi ape2 je Nom.. aku seram.. SeRaM.. SERAM..!! ~

Wednesday, August 24, 2005 0 Comments A+ a-

Kalau dalam movie omputih.. ada scene yg mana org ketuk pintu, pastu lelaki bukak pintu tak pakai baju, tiba2 dtg sorang pompuan peluk pinggang lelaki tu. Pompuan itu hanya dibaluti selimut sahaja.

Gambaran itu menghantui aku pada hari ini, sejak pagi tadi. Pernah juga tergambar scnene ini dlm pala otak aku suatu ketika dahulu..tapi aku abaikan. Harini dia datang balik. Lalu ia agak mengganggu semangat aku utk membuat kerja. Juga mengganggu semangat aku utk menjalani hari ini dengan ceria.

* Tolong la jangan tido ngan pompuan suka2 hati *

Kenapa la aku risau sangat ni. Aku tak suka tau rasa cam bangang2 je camni. Aku tau dia bukan yg macam tu.. tapi still... ada possibility. Eeeee..ape nih? Apesal aku nih??? Haritu msg aku bunyik macam dalam kesusahan. 1st thing dalam pala otak aku, dia kena tahan polis. Takpun dia baru lepas bertumbuk dgn orang ke..sampai sakit2.. Tapi sebenarnye takde ape pun. Aduhhhh...aku rasa aku yg sakit nih!

Jadi kesimpulannye... patut ke aku pegi jumpa dia? Aku rasa taknak pasal aku takut aku yg akan ketuk pintu dan dapati.. *sebagaimana yg digambarkan di atas* At the same time aku nak jugak pegi pasal dah lama tak jumpa.

Tegar
Rossa

Tergoda aku 'tuk berfikir
Dia yang tercinta
Mengapa t'lah lama tak nampak
Dirimu di sini
Jangankan ingin ku tersenyum
Tak ada gairah
Kuingin s'lalu bersamamu
Kini ku resah
Diriku lemah tanpamu
Oh...

Gapai semua jemariku
Rangkul aku dalam bahagiamu
Ku ingin bersama berdua selamanya
Jika kubuka mata ini
Ku ingin s'lalu ada dirimu
Dalam kelemahan hati ini
Bersamamu
Aku tegar...

* Erm...tegar tu ape eh? Hehehe..yg aku tau aku suka lagu nih *

Lagi aku citer, lagi aku rasa takbest. Baik aku buat keje. Tapi camne nak wat keje? Menda tu dok ada je dalam pala otak aku! AaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAa...!!! Aku ni sakit la. I need a vacation. Or medical treatment.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005 0 Comments A+ a-

Syami : Hello, Nyaii Mah!

Scabbers : Ami..ni bukan Nyaii Mah la. Ni Jihan.

Syami : Jian! Jian..Ami tengok biawak tadi kat tempat monyet. Ada tiga!

Scabbers : Yeke? Banyaknye..!!

Syami : Aaa..aaa.. monyet takde. Biawak ada tiga, Jian! Anak dia atas rumput. Mak dia atas bukit.

Scabbers : Habistu mana mana pegi lagi satu biawak?

Syami : Aaaa.. ade tiga, Jian! Ok bye.

Scabbers : Bye Ami!

Fatin & Syami a few years back

Phone conversation with my 3-year-old nephew, Syahmi. Rindunya kat Fatin dengan Syami. Tak sabar nak tunggu Friday..balik Muar jumpa semua!!

Monday, August 22, 2005 0 Comments A+ a-

Happy happy happy!

Kalau dapat pegi JB - aku melayang~

:)

Friday, August 19, 2005 0 Comments A+ a-

I think I will get fired today. Or maybe I'll just quit.

Arghhhhhhhhhh...tensen aku.

I don't like you.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005 0 Comments A+ a-

Cats are adorable. I love cats. I love The Powerpuff Girls too. They are very cute. I also like Harry Potter. He is very handsome. I wish to marry him when I am older.

During weekends, I like to spend my days watching cartoons. On TV3, NTV7, 8TV, Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon and Disney Channel. Cartoons are fun! I cannot live a day without cartoon. That is why I collect The Powerpuff Girls' VCD (not haram one lah) so I can watch them in KL. I don't have ASTRO in KL. I watch ASTRO only when I go back to my Mummy's house.

I like CSI too. CSI:Las Vegas, CSI:Miami and CSI:New York. It is a story for old people but I like it. I want to be like Grissom one day. But he is a man. I am a girl. I will be like one of the girls in CSI one day.

I wish there is a DVD collection of CSI so I can buy them all. Like The Powerpuff Girls. But I only have 4 VCDs. I don't have enough money to buy all. I will ask Mummy to buy me the VCD in the future. I also have Powerpuff Girls' big pillow, tissue packs, 1 set of PPG cups in yellow, 1 cup with straw in pink, Blossom teddy bear with big head, fork and spoon, plate, pencil case and 1 set of PPG's stationery. I will buy more PPG pillows next month. But they are expensive. I think I will buy only one. I like Bubbles. She is very cute. And she likes candies and crayons, just like me!

I would like to celebrate my birthday at Secret Recipe because they have a PPG cake. I will many take pictures of the cake before I eat it. I know it is delicios because it is The Powerpuff Girls cake. Mmmmm... I Like!! *wink wink*

Tuesday, August 16, 2005 0 Comments A+ a-

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
- Steven Wright

I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early.
- Jack Benny

Monday, August 15, 2005 0 Comments A+ a-

I hate the way you talk to me and the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car.
I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick -- it even makes me rhyme.
I hate the way you're always right.
I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh - even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it that you're not around and the fact that you didn't call.
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you
- not even close, not even a little bit, not any at all.

~ Taken from the movie 10 Things I Hate About You ~

Wednesday, August 10, 2005 0 Comments A+ a-

Scabbers : I feel happy today!

Wormtail : No you're not. You're miserable!

Scabbers : No, I really am happy.

Wormtail : No! I don't feel happy. I'm SAD. How can YOU be happy? We are ONE, in case you haven't noticed.

Scabbers : Errmm... Yea, maybe I do feel a bit sad. But still..

Wormtail : I don't get you.

Scabbers : I know. I don't get myself either.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005 0 Comments A+ a-

Aku note segala activity aku dlm organizer aku. Harini aku mendapati bahawa:

I heven't been on a date since 14th June 2005. Hahaha...!!

;P

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pupus
Dewa

Aku tak mengerti apa yang kurasa rindu yang tak pernah begitu hebatnya

Aku mencintaimu lebih dari yang kau tahu meski kau takkan pernah tahu

Aku persembahkan hidupku untukmu telah ku relakan hatiku padamu

Namun kau masih bisu diam seribu bahasa dan hati kecilku bicara

Baru kusadari cintaku bertepuk sebelah tangan kau buat remuk sluruh hatiku

Semoga aku akan memahami isi hatimu yang beku semoga akan datang keajaiban hingga akhirnya kaupun mau

Menanti Sebuah Jawaban
Padi

Aku tak bisa luluhkan hatimu Dan aku tak bisa menyentuh cintamu Seiring jejak kakiku bergetar Aku tak terpagut oleh cintamu Menelusup hariku dengan harapan Namun kau masih terdiam membisu

Sepenuhnya aku ingin memelukmu Mendekap penuh harapan tuk mencintaimu Setulusnya aku akan terus menunggu Menanti sebuah jawaban tuk memilikimu Betapa pilunya rindu menusuk jiwaku Semoga kau tau isi hatiku Dan seiring waktu yg terus berputar Aku masih terhanyut dalam mimpiku

Aku tak bisa luluhkan hatimu dan aku tak bisa menyentuh cintamu

Cintaku Pergi
Reshmonu

Dari mulanya, bersua Bagaikan impian, ku tak percaya Kuyakini kau kan ku jumpa Kau fantasi ,yang ternyata

Istana tiada ertinya Cinta tiada di sisi Apa guna segala possesi Cintaku pergi Kau emosi cintaku Ku inginkan tawa mu

Bagaikan pari pari, dilaman surga Episod malam, november tiga Persis dalam memori, masih ku rasa Walau kita dah lama bersama

Tapi kulupa, janji pertama Untuk luangkan, masa bersama Kini kau pergi, membawa diri Cintaku pergi, tak bisa sendiri

Ku berjanji padamu, ku berikan segalanya Siang dan malam ku bekerja mahligai dibina Hadiah permata semuanya hanya pandangan mata Sering kali, kao coba berkata tak perlu itu semua

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Arghhhhh...!!! Takde mood nak wat keje!!!

Friday, August 05, 2005 0 Comments A+ a-

What's the difference between him and Brian the Whine (a character from Rosie Dunne) ? Brian came back the proper way and took care of her, even if it's 13 years too late. I never heard from him, never have any idea what he looks like, never knew him, never met him.. not even once in the entire 16 years of my life.

Of course I'm not 16 now..but he passed away a month before I turned 17. On a Sunday afternoon, while I was studying beside Arwah Bapak, a few hours before I head off to Add Math Tution class. It felt wierd to hear the news from Mummy. I cried for like, 5 seconds, then MT started laughing seeing me cry, and I laughed along with her. Those tears were not meant for him. I was crying for myself. Sad for being an Anak Yatim.

I thank him, yes, for he is the reason I exist. But I have no reason to cry for him. He abandoned Mummy and me. I'm mad at him for that. After he passed away, his elder sister came to our house with "my cousin & nieces". That too, on a Sunday, after I had my Add Math tuition class. (You must think my Math's excellent, but it's actually no good! Haha) Mummy said they came to deal with me about my part of the "harta". Duh~ The person is a stranger to me, how can I even think of his harta? And his sister suddenly asked me to call her Mak Long asd sit beside her. Like I don't have anything better to do!!

I remember asking Mummy if I can go to his funeral, just to see his face for the first (or last) time. But as expected, Mummy won't let me. Besides, the day he was buried, I had a revision exam in school. My uncle, on behalf of me, went to Kluang for the court session. I received RM2000 as my part of the harta. What's RM2000 compared to the time he was supposed to be beside me..being my father and all..? I didn't want to "eat" the money, so I bought a PC with it. At least the PC won't be my darah daging.

A few years back, I received a Hari Raya card from his children. Addressing me as Kakak..they all wrote down their names complete with binti and bin. Another Duh~ for their side. Like I don't know who they are. Our names are almost alike. Besides, no other human being in this planet calls me "Kak". I hate people calling me Kak. * My name is not written in my birth certificate as Kak Scabbers, so why call me Kak? *. Lin called me up in college to read me the card, without the knowledge of Mummy. Months later only this news gets to Mummy. She was mad. Mad at them for sending, and mad at me for not telling. How can I tell when I know it was gonna upset her? I hate seing Mummy upset. Of course, I didn't reply. I don't want to have any contact with them, let alone admitting myself as the eldest sister. I'm an only child. I don't have any siblings.

Exactly two years later, my grandfather passed away. The only father I ever knew and loved. It was a Wednesday, I skipped class coz I had this urge to take the bus and went back to Muar. After thinking Muar is far away and I have class the next morning, I decided to follow Marina and Fansuri back to Shah Alam. I had an enjoyable time, playing with Marina's sister and brother, highlighting my hair but at the end of the day.. aku menyesal tak sudah. Mummy called around 9.15pm while Marina's father was driving us to the LRT. Mummy told me Bapak baru je lepas makan, tgh berehat, tido. I cried then, but I didn't know what was gonna happen next. While I was in the LRT, cousin Ghaz called. He asked me if I knew the story. I said, "Yeah, Bapak baru je tido". Then he broke the news. "Yaii dah takde". (I'm the only granchild who called him Bapak..others called him Yaii, as in atuk - in bahasa Jawa.) How would you take the news if it was your father? I cried and cried in the LRT. Then Mummy called. She can't even talk. Thank GOD Marina and Fansuri were there to comfort me.

I went back to college with Ghaz and the guard stopped us. Asking me why am I late (our curfew was 10pm). So I said my grandfather passed away, and I'm just in to collect my things and head back to my hometown. Then he asked me to be in on time, next time.. and kinda laughed it off. I felt like giving him a good kick, but instead I said "Bodoh". Never in my life I said that word directly to the person I'm talking to..so I guess I was being very rude that night. Stopped in Melaka to fetch cousin Dina. It was already midnight. I thought KYSM guards are as sophisticated and educated..to go along with the prestigious school name.. but they are all the same. This time, the guard was kinda pissed off to see us in the middle of the night trying to find a student..even after I told him that the student's grandfather just passed away. I Told Dina the news, since Ghaz was controlling himself from giving a punch to the guard. We were brought to the warden's house and on the way, the guard told us that next time we want to take a student out during a school night, we have to bring a letter at least a few days earlier. So ok..this is like the biggest Duh~ of all! I think he's retarded. Again, I called him stupid and yelled at him for being so stupid to think that we can predict death? I have never been so rude in my life, but that night I didn't care.

Sampai kat Muar, all my relatives were already there..thanks to the two stupid guards! Everybody was reciting Surah Yasin..but I was so sad and tired I stayed in a room and listen. Bukannya aku taknak, tapi aku tak tau camne sedihnya aku time tu sampai takleh nak cakap..takleh nak wat ape. I was the closest grandchild to him. He took care of me like his own daughter, since I never had a father and all. He even puts in his pension money for me..for my college fund. My father never did that to me. The final kiss was the hardest. I ran down the stairs to go sit on his bed and cried until I felt like my head was going to burst!. Sampai sekarang aku menyesal for not being the last person he saw before he closed his eyes. Sebab tu sekarang ni if I have a strong urge to go back to Muar..aku pegi jugak. Duit, masa, kerja...semua belakang kira. I don't want anything to happen..and I'm not there. Arwah Bapak la yg azan kan kat telinga aku when I was born, he was the first person lah kiranya..to be there when I arrived. But I was the last person to be there for him when he went away. I'm so bad. Penyesalan tu tak sudah sampai sekarang. Sakit, perit, sedih pemergiannya sampai sekarang masih terasa. Rindu aku kat Arwah Bapak tak terkata sekarang ni.

So that's the story of me. Cecilia Ahern (author of Rosie Dunne) is a good author sampai menjadikan aku teringat2 macam ni. Atau maybe I am just being emotional. As a result of my father's actions, I guess I have a bit of a fobia whenever it comes to having a serious relationship. (Not that it occured many times considering I'm not that pretty and all...) I prevent myself from liking a guy. Remember..prevention is better than cure. Heheh. I believe I can make it on my own, with a bit of help from my family members. I see Mummy as my idol. I want to be strong like her.

Hmm..apa aku cakap pun aku taktau (except for the 'love Mummy' part). Saja je nak bercerita.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005 0 Comments A+ a-

Trip to Kelantan is cancelled. Mummy takmau socialize dengan orang2 PPD. Thank GOD for that..I don't have to sit all the way in the bus with that girl, who talks about her boyfriend 24/7. I can bear a few minutes talking 'bout her beloved, but after a few hours, it gets so annoying! Even the girl's mother tak kuasa nak melayan dia. Cuma MY Mummy aje la tempat dia mengadu. *Nasib la Mak...sape soh Mak layan dia awal2 dulu kan? Hahahaha..!! * Berbalik kepada cerita asal, I want to sit with Mummy on the bus, and have Mummy all to myself throughout the trip. Tapi nasib baik Mak cancel!! Heheheh.. lega pala otak aku. Ahaks!

So I guess this month aku takde la bizi sgt during the weekend. This weekend pegi tgk final AF, next weekend servis keta + OUM nye registration, 3rd weekend I'm free...lepak KL aje la ye..tido sepanjang 2 hari. *seronoknya!* And that final weekend.. kena balik Muar, ada wedding kawan. Aduh... all my friends are getting married! All my IMU friends la.. my school friends semuanya masih macam dulu lagik..ntah kenal ntah tidak kaum lelaki..hehehe.. my college friends cam biasa aje..tak ramai yg nak kawen, ada yg dah kawen, ada yg dah ada baby, dan ada jugak yg akan ada baby. My whole family pun pelik dengan aku sekarang. Dulu almost every week pun aku balik. Nowadays, sebulan sekali nak balik pun susah. Wedding sana sini!! Ade gak diaorg tanya biler turn aku. Oh well..wat cemana.. hati aku tak terbukak lagik nak ada boyfriend, let alone getting married! Muahahaha... Biarlah aku ngan Jaja tinggal sama2, bela kucing. Hehehehe..

* Breaking news : Lub's in labor room now. Having her second child! *

To all those getting married, congratulations. To all yg nak tunang, congratulations gak...and jangan tunggu lama2. To all yg dah jadi parents, good luck..jadilah parents yg baik. To all yg akan jadi parents, jaga kesihatan, makan, minum..semoga selamat semuanya. To all those yg tgh bercinta, jgn tunggu lama2 gak...dan jangan ada perkara sumbang yg berlaku. To me, be happy...always!

Tuesday, August 02, 2005 0 Comments A+ a-

Daily Overview for August 02, 2005
Provided by Astrology.com

Quickie:
Love is knocking on your door, but are you ready to answer? Go for it.

Overview:
Feeling stuck? Just make the teeniest, tiniest movement, and you'll find that it leads to another and another ... and yet another. It's easy to get unstuck once you make that first move.