Dia : Hi awak. Dah makan?
Saya : Dah.
Dia : Makan ape?
Saya : Makan nasik lauk ayam.
Dia : Awak kerja harini macam mana? Bz ke?
Saya : Tak, biasa2 je.
Dia : Awak sorang2 ke tu? Kazen awak tak balik lagi?
Saya : Belum, dia biasa balik lewat.
Dia : Yeke... kesian awak kena duduk sorang. Awak tak takut ke wak??
Saya : (Urgh. Biler mamat ni nak blah?) Takla. Biasa je.
Dia : Habistu tadi awak makan sorang2 la? Kesian la kat awak....
Saya : (Urghhh!!!) Tak kisah.
Dia : Awak bz ke? Ok la wakkk... awak buat la kerja awak tu dulu. Saya taknak kacau.
Saya : (YES!!!!) Ok.
Dia : Kesian awak banyak keje... Saya tak kacau awak eh. Buatlah kerja awak tu.
Saya : (What makes u think u tak kacau? DUH!!) Ok.
Dia : Nanti kita chat lagi ye...
Saya : (Enuf is enuf dude) Bye.

Aku memang rasa nak penampor je mamat nih. Seriously. Kalau satu hari aku decide nak jumpa dia, and he talks the same way he chats, memang nak kena tampar. Aku rimas giler dgn budak nih. Ape jadah tanya aku soklan banyak2? Mak aku pun tak tanya cenggitu. Ingat aku rasa dia tuh caring la? Yucks!!!! Cara nye sungguh tak sesuai dgn aku. Eeeiiii... now I remember why I log out everytime he logs in. Hahahahah...

Ini contoh perbualan kami sahaja. Tiada kena mengena dengan yg hidup, yg mati mahupun tahap mental aku yg sedang goyah sekarang nih.

Just because I feel like typing.

Dear Blog,

You know sometimes in movies/dramas they always have this moment in life where you're "finding yourself" supposedly?

Well, I may have found some facts about myself. I think I've been in denial all these while, until recently lah kan..

1. I'm VERY emotional.
2. I'm not bright, but I'm WAY stupid-er than u can ever imagine.
3. Aku memilih. Selama nih org cakap kat aku, tapi aku cakap "tak". Lama aku merenung dan mempertikaikan diri aku dari setiap aspek masa nak conclude mende nih. And yes, I AM choosy.
4. I still freak out with the thought of having a steady relationship. Which leads to the fact that I'm far away from being ready to get married anytime soon. (Read = in another 5 years or so)
5. I don't give myself enuff credit to the extent that I hate myself and wish for this world to end very, very soon.

Ye Blog, I have problems with myself. But I'm trying my very best untuk kembali ke jalan yg benar. Untuk menghilangkan segala rasa duka lara confuse dan ape2 lagi yg tak baik.

InsyaAllah.........

I'm still mad. But I won't curse or wish the death of anybody this time. I'm pissed... but maybe at my own self.

If only it will end earlier! Once it's done, I don't even wanna get close to it. I'll just keep to myself, my family and my truly trusted friends only.

I don't wanna think about it as for now. Nope.

Anyway, there's nothing I can think of to write. Cuma aku sedang suka One Republic skang nih. Dunno why. Maybe sbb lagu Apologize tu kot. Now downloading the full album.

Here's his song on top of my playlist now.

Stop and Stare

This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us
It's time to make our move, I'm shakin off the rust
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years
Steady hands, just take the wheel...
And every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal... for the life I lead

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're 'here' not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can u see what I see

They're tryin to come back, all my senses push
Un-tie the weight bags, I never thought I could...
Steady feet, don't fail me now
Gonna run till you can't walk
But something pulls my focus out
And I'm standing down...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, you don't need

What u need, what u need...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be
Oh, do u see what I see...

Diaorg tuh sumer sama jek. Bodoh.

Bodoh nak mampos!!!

Pegi mati lagi bagus. Lagi senang idup aku.

$%$@#%*@(&()*^%!^$#

Sedang aku berjalan ke pejabat, sempat lagi aku melayan angan-angan.

"How long have you been driving?"

"Since I was... 18?"

"And how old are you now?"

"26"

SNAP!!

..... and I'm back to reality. Dude! Twenty-six.

T-W-E-N-T-Y-S-I-X

* Urgghhh *

Whatever.

As long as I can listen to Chris Brown's With You, I'm happy.

"with every kiss and every hug, you make me fall in love"

I totally love that particular part of the song... but let's snap back to reality, shall we?

Nope, not even close!

"Ya Allah, aku berlindung kepada-Mu dari rasa susah dan duka, dan aku berlindung kepada-Mu dari sifat lemah dan malas, dan aku berlindung kepada-Mu dari sifat pengecut dan kikir, serta aku berlindung kepada-Mu dari hutang yang tak terbayar dan dari belenggu orang lain. "

-- H.R. Abu Umamah dan Abu Sa’id

Pernahkah anda cuba mencederakan diri sendiri bila terasa sedih/marah/bengang/tensen or just plain miserable on the inside?

Tidak? Try lah.

Ia terasa sedap. Melegakan. And probably addictive jika jiwa mudah terpengaruh.

Speaking, again, seperti orang yg kurang ajaran agama. Astarghfirullah al'azim!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mari berkongsi:

"Ata'muruna nasa bilbirri watansauna anfusakum wa antum tatlunal kitab, afala ta'qilun " (Al-Quran, 1:43)

Maknanye: Patutkah kamu suruh orang lain mengerjakan kebaikan, sedang kamu melupakan dirimu sendiri, padahal kamu membaca Al Kitab, maka apakah kamu tidak berfikir?

Friday is finally here.

Hooray!!

I'll be more productive next week, I promise! I'll sleep less, chat less, eat less, daydream less... I'll work like The Company ( amacam, ada gaya Heroes tak? :P ) depends solely on me. Tapi before that... let us enjoy the coming weekend. Oh I am so looking forward to spend the weekend here. See what's in store for me.

Mari kita bergembira
lalalalaaa~
Usah fikir duka lara
lalalalaaa~

Memang bila hujung minggu tiba, aku terasa seperti ingin menari. Apetah lagi bila mendengar Mary J Blige - Just Fine. Dance baby, dance! Dance like there's no tomorrow.

Hahahaha. Giler rupanya aku nih.

Eh tapi serious la. Aku rasa macam aku dah terkena Introduction to Insanity. Ah, biarla. Kalau aku gila pun ape salahnye? At least aku boleh melakukan ape2 tanpa perasaan.

Amende aku nih?! Cakap macam takde ajaran agama. Hish! Memalukan.

Excuse me.

En. PMW : Kau tak update ye hari ni? Blog?

Scabbers : Blom lagik. Aku tatau la ape nak tulis. Kang aku tulis menda2 yg depressing kang.................. ko menyampah plak.

En. PMW : Tulis je la. Aku nak membaca je.

In addition to the conversation above, aku membuka blogger dan menconteng arang di kanvas content ini. Walaupun hakikatnya tiada apa dalam kepala otak aku untuk dinukilkan disini.

Cerita Pangkor? Hmmmm... biar lah memori manis itu dalam kepala aku sahaja. Akan tetapi, sape2 nak tengok gambar boleh lawati Myspace saya.

Selanjutnya tiada apa yg hendak diperkatakan. Aku takda Umar atau Amni... aku cuma ada Omar saja sebagai kawan chat. So memang life aku tak menarik. Hahaha..

* Jgn marah ek, bang!

Akan tetapi aku suke life aku sekarang. Aku lebih banyak spend masa dirumah, sbb intenet aku betul2 depan Astro. Dan couch aku kalau duduk, confirm akan terbaring dengan bantal2 empuk dan kusyen-yg-dah-mencecah-lantai-akibat-tak-dapat-menampung-berat-aku. Jadi sambil aku menonton Heroes Season 2 hasil dari download aku, mata aku menjeling Tom & Jerry di kaca TV, jari jemariku sibuk chatting dan Torrent aku setia dengan queue movie dalam list.

Takde la aku depress tengok hp aku yg tak pernah nak berbunyik. Tak perlu la aku sibuk2 msg member2 sana sini sbb jadual aku dah penuh. Biar lah aku lupa daratan. Biarlah aku dengan diri aku. Biarlah....

:P

Stesyen Terakhir
Andy

Landasan itu masih di situ
Menuju arah yang lurus
Gerabak berangkai masih setia
Arah selatan dan utara

Selisih gerakku duduk termanggu di bangku
Mengenang nasib diri tak siapa yang tahu

*
Situ ku masih setia menanti
Selagi hayat di sisi
Walau kau takkan kembali

Menunggu
Bila akan tiba waktu
Pasti akan aku jemu
Bersatu di alam baru
Dan menjadi satu
Kita berdua
Engkau dan aku
Dan selamanya semoga

Penumpang turun naik tanpa menghiraukan
Hasrat di hatiku
Tapi aku tak perlu merubah
Situ masih yang ku mahu

Memori yang kan kekal selama-lamanya
Sehingga terbuka nafas sudah terhenti
Tak perlu lagi.........

*

The longer I live, the less I want to be a part of it. So don't say anything to make me feel better. You're not me, you don't get what I have experienced and you certainly do not understand how I feel.

Yes, another one got married. Az. My Convent friend. Congratulations to the bride and groom! Az berseri2 pada hari tu, of course! Nampak lain sangat.. memandangkan aku kenal dia dari sejak sekolah rendah lagi kan.

And yes, I wore the same outfit to Hanum's. I think I'm gonna wear that for every other weddings in the future. Like what I did with my baju kurung hitam a few years ago. Kehkehkeh..

Anyway, Lubnah's expecting her 3rd child already!!! Her first, Sofya, is 6 and her second, Faris, is 3.



Pelik tak budak kecik Faris ni nak kat aku? Siap peluk2, dia pulak yg tepuk2 aku kat belakang mcm org tua. Lama jugak aku dukung dia. Tapi the next day, tangan aku lenguh. Hahahaha.. Nampaknye blom ready lagik! Hahahaha..

Anyway, it was good to see everybody again. :)

* It's the Year of the Rat in the Chinese calendar. Yeay for Scabbers!!