Some people have ALL the luck!

* Sigh *

Operation: F.U.N.N.Y

Lunch: Not funny.
Falling into your lunch: Funny!

Ice-Cream: Not funny.
Ice-cream on your face: Funny!

Sapce ships: Not funny.
Space ships coming out of your nose: Funny!

Make-up: Not funny.
Make-up on an unexpected victim: Funny!

Codename: Kids Next Door.
Always Funny!

* I should be working with Cartoon Network.

The difference between Spermajalang and me, well obviously he's a guy and I'm a girl. Apart from that, when he's not around @ The Office, all the staff will be like, "Hey, where is he?" or "Do you know where he puts his file?" and then they would call him up to ask for printer code, pc password and all that stuff. When I'm not around, nobody would notice. They would probably ask, "Oh, she's on leave today is it?" at 5.27 pm.

Yup, huge difference there kan? He's at the top, and I'm at the bottom (Please don't think otherwise, I'm just sorting by importance).

Of course la ade rasa jeles sket, but a little bit only lah. Memandangkan orang kesayangan ni kerja bertimbun! Plus they have to work real close to the bosses. Hehehehe.. Anyway, it's good for you lah Sperm. Satu hari nanti mana lah tau ko bleh jadi partner kat ofis ni. Time tu aku kawan baik ko ok?

Beralih cerita, yesterday one of my closest friend from school got enganged! I didn't get to go sebab gaji tak masuk lagi. Kang susah plak kena isik minyak ngan air liur. Kena kerja kat toll gate sbb tak cukup duit nak kasi lepas.

Dah la the week before, Teh, one of my closest friend from college, got engaged kat Perak. Itupun aku tak dapat pegi jugak sbb jauh. Kakak Dahlia tunang (very) early next year, and will be getting married most probably in June? Sama time dengan Teh, dan dua2 kat Perak. Kalau sama tarikh, I don't mind going to both, but if different dates, terpaksalah aku ke Batu Gajah.

Ni dah pikir siap2 nih. Starting next year punye lah ramai orang nak kawen. Plus, yg akan melahirkan cahaya mata pun ramai gak nih. Nampaknye Mummy akan perli aku lagi la nanti, macam last year, asyik tak balik je sebab banyak wedding invitation. Hehehehe... Kalo aku jahat aku akan cakap semuanya aku tak pegi, sbb I doubt they'd even come to my wedding in Muar dalam 8 tahun lagi. Memandangkan by the time semua org susah nak jalan sbb dah ada anak2 kecik sumer... Tapi, aku takde la jahat camtu kot. Aku RASA aku tak jahat camtu. Tapi tatau la. Hahahahaha....

I'm thankful that Astro provides radio channel upon subscribtion. My boredem used to hit 8 on the Richter scale, but now it's moving down drastically to 2. (Don't tell Mummy, but Lan probably contributes to this reading. Hehehehe)

Know why?
Because not only can I watch cartoons 24/7, learn more about nature, dance to the music and watch sitcoms... but most importantly, I can listen to the Classic Rock channel.

Yup, the good ol' Classic Rock radio station.

Aaaaahhhhhhh....life's good again.

I know it's hard for Dahlia, and I know I teased her about it all day yesterday, but last night it backfired. With the help of Grey's Anatomy, he's stuck in my head up until now.

Shucks!

I hate it when he does that. And the imaginations! Huh. Otak aku ni tau tak aku nak exam esok? And my itchy fingers re-opened THE message (You would know this one, Dahlia) in my handphone. I am way too sick, ok.

Sick. SiCk. SICK.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ok that was the post for this morning. Now it's almost noon dan perut aku serious dah tak tentu hala. Jiwa raga aku lagi la. Hati tak tenteram. Kepala asyik dok ingat subject untuk esok. Tapi kerja perlu diteruskan. And yet he's still in my head! Damn you!!

Ooops sorry! I better not curse. Nervous nak mampus!

Esok exam beb. ESOK EXAM!!

Dah cukup banyak dah mende yg aku nak fahamkan dan masukkan dalam pala otak aku by today. Tolong la jangan ade yg lain. Terasa sungguh tertekan!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today is the loneliest day of all.

Lonely I'm so lonely,
I have nobody,
To call my own...

Pegi keje sorang2, kat ofis sorang2, balik keje sorang2, kat rumah sorang2.... Tapi bebudak ni dok email pasal party plan for Shamarque who sent his resignation letter yesterday. Heheheh..kelakar! But still, rasa macam ade sesuatu yg nak diluahkan...tapi takde kawan nak dengar, takde kawan yg paham.

Dahlia oh Dahlia, apesal la ko MC harinih? Tiada siapa yg mampu mendengar jeritan batinku ini. (Ouch!)

Esok hari Rabu. Lusa, hari Khamis, aku punya exam. Final la ape lagi. Utk this sem, which aku kena maintain habis ler result aku. Kalo tak mmg terjun gaung la.

Cuba lah teka aku dah study ke blom?

DIE!!!

Suddenly I lost the desire to smile, talk or write in this blog. And I had several happy ideas this morning.

:(

Yes, Mondays can be really depressing at times.

I just received an email from Jaja, memberitahu aku bahawa Cikgu Safiah dah meninggal dunia. 2 months ago, masa Nisfu Syaaban, disebabkan oleh cancer usus.

It's just so sad! I wanted to visit her, since a few years back! I went by the school but nobody was there. Dah lama sangat aku tak jumpa dia. Dia cikgu aku yg last kat skolah arab dulu. Aku sayang cikgu2 skolah arab aku, esp Cikgu Safiah & her sister, Cikgu Zaharah. Sebab dari sejak tadika aku tumpang kereta dia, dia amik berat pasal aku semua...

* Aaawwww..!!! *

Sedihnya aku tak dapat jumpa dia for the final time. Aku cuma sempat bertanya kat Cikgu Zaharah aje tentang kakak dia, dalam setahun dua yg lalu. Aku tau aku pun student yg jahat jugak, sbb tak geti gi melawat, sedangkan skolah aku tu cuma kat tanjung je...and Muar is so small! Perasaan membuak2 aku nak jumpa dia timbul beberapa tahun yg lalu, masa aku tau yg dia cuba nak matchmake kan aku dengan ex-classmate aku. Time tu la baru aku teringat kat dia, nak jumpa sebab rasa cam terharu pulak ada orang ingat kat aku, siap nak tolong carikkan jodoh yang baik lagi! (Yup, mamat tu one of those ustaz yg amik degree kat Mesir) Hehehehe...

Ni pulak Jaja kata Cikgu Zaharah tu pulak dah jadik cikgu besar kat sekolah tadika kat Sungai Abong. So then, what happened to our school? Ape jadik kat cikgu2 yg pernah mengajar aku satu ketika dahulu kat sekolah pondok tu?

Masa aku call Cikgu Zabedah untuk menolak offer nya kat ex-classmate aku tu, dia ade cakap kata suruh datang melawat skali sekala. Sebab cikgu2 semua dah tua2 katanya.... Tapi tak sempat aku nak melawat. I've tried...tapi tak dapat. So now, tak dapat buat ape2 kecuali sedekahkan doa & bacaan untuk roh nya.

* Sedih *

Sebagai seorang rakyat Malaysia yg tidak melanggan Astro, I was bored out of my skull last night. Sebab takde interesting show la obviously! So I watched Impian Illiyana (walaupun 2 minit, kire gak la).

Yea, it reminded me of my college days, but one thing's for sure... I DO NOT want to go back to those times where I had to wake up early just to line up and share the toilet / shower with everybody.

I thank God that I am no longer in college. That I do not have to share the toilet with hundreds other girls. I'm happy with my life now, having one special toilet dedicated to me, and only me. Early mornings are SO much better!

A big shout-out to Nurin, cousin terakhir yg amik SPM.



Jadi, dimanakah destinasi pertama kami?
--- Bank, sebab semua orang punya poket kosong!

Heh, joke yg tak jadik joke. Siot je.

Ok la, dah hujan lebat dah tu. Nak melayan perasaan japs. Al-maklumlah, dah jadi stalker berjaya malam tadi... makan pun lalu tak lalu, tido pun susah... kasi layan aje la dulu bunga2 dalam hati ni. Ekekekeke...

Harap2 balik kang tak ujan. So he'll be there, as always.

Harian Metro, Sunday published this story about a family yang menyaman the daughter's ex-boyfriend for causing trouble to the whole family. The ex gave away their mobile numbers and emails, dan sekarang they're receiving tons of explicit emails & smses.

And of course, not forgetting the terrible murder case of that Mongolian model and other horrific death cases of young women, suspected killed by their own friend/boyfriend/lover/whatever.

My point is, I've decided NOT to try any harder untuk Abg Mech. Memanglah kalau aku tak bagi peluang, aku takkan tahu... but reading the 1st case (the suing family), membuatkan aku rasa sedikit takut la. Pasal katanya, the daughter got to know the guy dari kedai makan diaorg. Makin hari makin diaorg lebih rapat la, but the father disagree sebab tak nampak any future in the guy, so he asked them to break-up.

Mungkin aku aje yg perasan kononnya Abg Mech tu nak sangat la berkenalan ngan aku. Padahal kalo korang tanya dia, sesaat pastu dia dah bleh lupa aku sape gamaknye. Hehehehe.. Tapi memandangkan Mummy dah kata jangan, dan tiada sebarang petunjuk yang menandakan kebaikan aku dan dia... aku pun rasa malas lah. Because I'm afraid of what he might do, IN CASE we ever get together la kan. Which, btw, is total bullocks!

Bukanlah Mummy melarang terus aku bercakap dengan dia, tapi Mummy kata cakap sikit2 dah la. Pastu excuse yourself, don't linger there until Maghrib (which kadang2 aku buat gak!). Sebenarnya kalau nak ikutkan memang buruk sangat lah nampak perangai aku ni. Tergedik2 pegi berbual dengan (sexy) stranger sampai orang dah azan. Eeeiii...pompuan jenis ape la aku nih?!

So.... in order to change myself into a better person dan menjadi anak yang baik dan mengikut kata ibu & makciknya, aku rasa baik aku cancel kan aje niat aku untuk mengurat dia. From my past experiences, Mummy's & Makton's words tak pernah membawa aku ke jalan yang tak baik. Biarla aku sedih sket, sakit hati sket awal2...tapi aku percaya lama2 nanti, aku akan berterimakasih kepada mereka. Cewah!

Sekarang ni Mummy cakap terang2 je suruh aku carik boyfriend untuk tujuan kawen ler. Ikutkan aku, bf tu hanyalah untuk hiburan semata2. Kalau kawan, takleh jadi bf. Kalau bf, takleh kawen ngan aku. Tapi kalau stranger tepi jalan, jgn harap aku nak layan kalau dia kata nak berkenalan. Tu la konsep aku dulu. Tapi skang ni nampak gayanya terpaksalah aku ubah.

Cemana la gamaknye aku nak terima lelaki sebagai lebih dari kawan ek? Special sket2 tu boleh la, tapi yg seterusnye tu? Eeeeeiii... Tak geti aku. Kalau nak tengok, Mummy's marriage bukanlah one of those Cinderella stories kan? Jadik memang susah untuk aku nak terima mende2 ni. Kalau aku tak ikut cakap Mummy, kesian plak nanti...dah mengharap dah tu. Kalau aku ada adik-beradik lain, takde hal beb aku nak membujang selamanya. Tapi kalau aku ikut cakap Mummy, aku pulak yg kekok. I don't even know how to start! And IF aku dah jumpa orangnya, aku takut dia takkan stay dengan aku selamanya. As what happened to Mummy la kan. Nanti bukan takat aku yg sedih. Mummy laaaaaagi la sedih. I don't want that to happen, do I?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That was yesterday's post. Tak sempat nak publish tetiba Dahlia dah bersuara ajak aku balik. Hehehehe... Sebagaimana pesanan Mummy, aku cuba mengelakkan diri aku berbual dengan Lan. He was talking to his friend smalam, so aku tunduk aje la jalan belakang dia. Tiba2 dia pusing (macam tau2 jek aku nak lalu) dan bagi salam kat aku. Takkan ler sombong sgt sampai aku abaikan kan? So aku pun pusing, senyum, dan membalas salam nya, lalu terus tunduk dan naik tangga. Belum sempat aku nak pusing habis dia bersuara, "Laju je nak naik?", tapi aku abaikan je sambil terbatuk2 non-stop. Pastu aku terdengar dia cakap ngan abang kedai runcit tu, "Eh, terbatuk2 tu tak sihat agaknye". Mungkin dia cakap pasal orang lain yg tgh lalu lalang kat situ, tapi aku cuma dengo suara aku sorang je yg sedang 'melepaskan batuk ditepi tangga'. Ekekekekeke...

Sedih beb. Dia nampak happy, senyum ngan aku sampai ke telinga, tapi sape suruh dia berbual ngan lelaki tu? Aku blah aje la. Tapi sampai atas aku rasa tak puas hati. Namun aku telah berjaya menahan diri aku daripada turun balik buat2 pegi kedai beli ntah ape2. Kalau Mummy tau citer ni, mesti Mummy berpuas hati. Cuma Mummy tak tau perasaan tak best dalam hati aku ini. Ouch! Cam cerekarama plak.

Dahla. Penat la pikir. Macam obsession aku tak habis lagi je gayanya. Eeeiii..ntah ape2 je. Dah dah. Meh kite buat-buat buat kerja.

I'm too high on drugs to write right now. I'll pour my heart out later.

I said, "Kalau saya balik Muar this week, awak nak gi Melaka tak?".

Lan (Abg Mech) said, "Tak pandai masak takpe..nanti kalau dah kawen lama2 pandai la".

.... while Mummy said, "Tak payah la sembang2 dengan Lan lagi".

Nampak tak pattern nya disini?

Aku hanya ajak dating. Dia ajak kawen. Mummy menghalang dari terjadinya apa2 perhubungan.

Susah.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I go all quiet and reserved myself from the crowd, people always assume that I'm mad at them. They don't usually ask me directly, instead they'd ask the person closest to me or just simply make an assumption.

Well I'm sorry. I'm not a big fan of talking. But observing & writing, yes. I can talk non-stop, make silly jokes or whatever, but when there's too many people talking... I just shut myslef up and listen. I know it's a bad habit coz people may think I'm a snob, and when it comes to work... mesti akan kata aku ni taknak participate in discussions and what-nots. But I can't help it. I just can't open my mouth to say anything when all of'em are talking. All I'm capabale of is smile.

In addition to that, I tend to stay very quiet for the rest day. It's the way I am. But when someone tries to talk to me in private, of course lah aku layan. Kesian lak kang ada orang cakap sorang2. So that is what actually happened yesterday @ The Company's Open House. Plus it was my first day (if u know what I mean) and I got all emotional and stuff. I know my friends asked me to join in, but towards the end of the day... I'm just tired and hungry-but-can't-eat-until-I'm dizzy.

Thank you for those who cared, and I'm sorry I missed all the fun... but I'm fine. A-okay.

:)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just got back from lunch. The three rich & hot hoocie-mamas were on my left, talking. "Boyfriend I dah suruh tengok2 barang hantaran", "I tau satu kedai yg buat baju pengantin...cantik", "Kalau u beli kat tempat I, barangnye murah...u boleh suruh dia buatkan", "Dulu I sewa je semua...dengan dulang2 skali". And on my right were the two IT guys, also talking. "Ko tau dia main badminton kat mana?", "Haritu diaorg semua gi Melaka main futsal", "Eh, ko free weekend ni dtg rumah aku betulkan PC".

What do you expect me to say then? I don't do sports/tech stuff and I don't do boyfriends/getting engaged. And there I sat in the middle of the table, crying desperately for Sperm to finish his call and come to the table so I don't feel lost.

Yea, sometimes I'm more comfortable with friends yang betul2 aku baik dengan (faham2 aje la ayat aku). Esp waktu2 emosi seperti ini. Aku rasa bersalah jugak kat diaorg pasal aku sangat mendiamkan diri... tapi aku tatau nak masuk campur macam mana.

Akan tetapi sebelum lunch tadi aku masuk toilet dengan The Boss. She said her younger brother, who was taking picture yesterday, was the one who noticed that I was silent. Dan adik dia tau nama aku! Yes, he worked with IMU previously, but I didn't think he'd know... y'know. Hehehehe. And she said that the brother kata kalau orang kata aku ni adik The Boss, dia percaya. Aaawww..!! He noticed that too? Oh I'm so happy. Ekekekeke.

* Kalau yg berkata itu membaca blog aku ni, maka akan malu lah aku.

Penat. Ngantok. Bosan.

Dear Blog,

I think I need to see Dr. Shariff... for consultation(?) coz I think there might be something wrong with me. Or maybe I'm just mentally sick untill I can't stop eating and gained too much weight. And yes... me being pissed-off at Adik, for being so cleverly stupid, contributed to the input of more calories.

But..... I like having heavy breakfast with Spermajalang (and other friends IF they're early) in the mornings. Sebab boleh mencuci mata, menghilangkan rasa panas duduk dalam ofis takde air-cond and breafkast is much cheaper than lunch. Kan? Tambah lagi sekarang ni raya, sana-sini orang buat open house & majlis kawen. So the supply of food never ends. Oh, and so does the heavy traffic.

Oh yea. Aku rasa aku takde la nak buat Open House...sbb rumah aku tu kecik je...tak seberapa lagipun...tapi jemput lah datang beraya ek. Kuih-muih ada...kalau nak makan sedap2 kedai kat bawah banyak...pilih je..Melayu ada, Mamak ada, Cina pun ada. Kot2 la korang ke area Ampang / Pandan Indah... singgah2 la ye!

Happy Eating!

* Setelah dibaca kembali post di atas, aku dapati ayat aku sangat lah berputar-belit. Mungkin gara-gara sambutan Deepavali. Maaf lah. Malas nak cantikkan balik.

Hey people... I'm back!! I know u miss me kan? Ekekekeke...

So how was Raya? Aku nye Raya syok aaa... tapi memenatkan sampai tahap kesihatan aku pun semakin merosot skang nih. Anyways, bukan pasal raya pun yg aku nak cerita. Ahaks...sbb aku tgh excited about something else.

Smalam lampu signal keta aku rosak. So aku tanya la Abg Mech, bleh tak tgkkan...dia kata boleh. Tetiba je dia hulur tangan mintak kunci keta aku. Aku bagi aje la kan. Pastu boss dia nampak so aku pun cakap2 la sket ngan boss dia. Pastu dia cakap amende ntah condenser? rosak. Nak kena ganti baru. Tapi mau order dulu. Sementara menunggu tu, aku igt nak naik, tapi dia soh aku dok bawah nak ajak sembang katanya. Ahaks...so aku pun lepak la kat bawah, tp biler dia bz dgn customer lain aku naik la lepak ngan family aku plak.

Akhirnya! Dia tanya nama aku. Dan of course la aku tanya dia balik nama dia sape. Ok, nama dia Roslan. Umur 26. Asal Tanjung Malim, Perak. Anak ke-3 dari 7 adik-beradik. Tinggal dengan 2 orang kawan yg lain di Kampung Pandan.