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Oh diri sendiri, tolong lah banyakkan bersabar. Sabar... sabar... sabar!!!

Nak sabar tahap mana lagi eh.. rasanya ni dah sabar at the extreme dah ni. Tapi masih tak cukup lagi.

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Ok, Singapore support team called again. Asking me a whole lot of questions, and sound aku why aku tak setup dev machine in office, dev machine on site.. coz they're waiting and stuff. I can't tell them the truth, ok. My co. will look bad nanti.

Dah la case ni initially he-whom-i-loathe kata tak payah aku amik tau, then dia pass kat aku. And dev machine, big boss taknak beli windows lic, I've setup twice tapi still crash. And they're asking me why I tak setup dev machine..

I really don't have time. I've to complete kerja for the project which was like.. I don't know how to describe. Terribly banyak. And I've to attend to their consultant yg datang. I really don't know what to say to them...

If only they know how I suffered.... and how I'm suffering now.

Will there be an end to this?

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Boleh ke aku tahan ni? Terlalu sedih. Terlalu sakit hati. Dah buat macam2, tapi bila every second of the day asyik kena marah, knowing that whatever I did was never good enuf. Never betul, asyik kena blame. Asyik kata salah...

Aku dah tak tau macam mana nak cakap. Semangat, confidence & everything else is at Level 0. Thank You, Mr. Ho. Thank you very much.

Ikutkan hati mmg nak resign this instant. Tapi takboleh la nak ikutkan hati. Semua orang kata sabar, tabah... sampai tahap mana lagi? Even I myself pun am telling me the same thing. Hang in there. Tapi....?

I don't know if I can get thru a day without being sad, miserable, tense.. and crying while doing work.

If I chat with u and I'm laughing, doesnt mean I'm happy. If u see me and I smile at u, doesnt mean I'm happy either. Whatever u see me doing, I'm not happy.

Aku terlalu sedih sekarang.