Found this in MSN, written by Jennifer Tai

The C Word

Recently, I had dinner with one friend and two strangers.

Well, not complete strangers but acquaintances I've not had the pleasure of meeting face to face before. These are friends I'd made in the course of my leisurely, often pointless (but far from being utterly useless) ramblings in my personal blog, which some of the more curious among you may have found.

And as usual, we got to talking about who was seeing whom. Most assuredly, I was still seeing my husband, so that was as far as we got in MY sex/love life. And then we got to my girl friend, who probably has the most colourful social life in the history of 30-something working girls in KL who date.

She had met someone online and they had a fling. He was 40 and cute. She was 30 and ready for some fun. It was a match made in heaven.

And then I had to spoil it all by saying something stupid like "is he THE ONE?"

Apparently, commitment is a taboo subject even for single 30-something women these days.

"Eh nolah, please!" my girl friend quickly waved my question off.

"Nolah, nolah it's just a fling!"

And then, after a few more sips of her beverage, a few more bites of her dessert, she said, "I slept with him. But I don't think it's going anywherelah."

It was as though entertaining the thought of a future with this new guy was not something she should do. It's just too good to be GOING to be true. Here was a single, 40-year old cute guy with a career, money and is even good in bed. But does my friend jump at the chance?

Apparently, commitment is a taboo whim even for single 30-something women these days.

This was what 14 years of dating in a city like KL did to you. Self-loathing, self-doubt and the adoption of self-created superstitions which seem to equate talking about something to MAKING it happen. Walls and walls of a different sort of denial to protect oneself from the pain of rejection or even worse, someone falling OUT of love with you once they get to know the 'real' you.

The you with a fat bum in daylight. The you with a hygiene problem. The you with a colourful sexual past.

"Did you at least have a good time?" I asked.

The answer was yes.

"Are you seeing him again?"

The answer was yes.

Who knows? The romantic in me wants this to happen for my friend. Even if she can't hope, I will hope enough for the both of them.

And maybe, just maybe, she will be THE ONE.